In case you didn’t know, the Oscars were on last night. As an Annoying Film Person, you’d think I would be glued to the TV for this austere, once-a-year event. I was not. In fact, I didn’t even watch the whole show.
2011 cinema left me lackluster. Sure, there were a few films I loved – The Tree of Life, Drive, Hugo – but I mostly feel underwhelmed. Where the films at?! The awards show itself held no surprises for me – The Artist and Hugo racked up. There weren’t even any really spectacular dresses to look at, and sometimes that’s half the fun for me (I’m a girl, y’all). The best moments were any time anyone cried (I’m a sucker for tears) and Christopher Plummer. He is like, the best looking 82-year-old man I know. And I don’t even actually know him. And he was once-upon-a-time Captain Von Trapp. Check yes.
However, all my wah-wah-wahing about 2011 movies hasn’t diminished my hope for 2012. Oh no. I am starved for some of these upcoming movies, just absolutely salivating for them. Below are my top 9.
Hot* Director – HD
Hot* Cast – HC
Insane Storyline – IS
Mind-Blowing Visuals – MBV
Artistically Crush-worthy – ACW
Actually Enjoyable Sequel/Prequel – AESP
Surely Spectacular Soundtrack – SSS
*Hot meaning awesome, not attractive. Although sometimes…it’s both.
1. The Dark Knight Rises
Release date: July 20
HD (Chris Nolan)
HC (Christian Bale, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy)
IS (It’s Batman, y’all!)
AESP (As opposed to, say, Batman & Robin?)
2. Moonrise Kingdom
Release date: May
HD (Wes Anderson)
HC (Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Tilda Swinton, fresh up-and-comers)
ACW (I feel this way about all Wes Anderson films.)
3. Untitled Terrence Malick Project
Release date: ?
HD (Terrence Malick. This movie doesn’t even have a name, and I can’t wait.)
HC (Rachel McAdams, Jessica Chastain, Rachel Weisz – a trio of superb ladies)
MBV (see: any movie of his, ever)
SSS (ambient, serene and soul-soaring are all possible)
Release date: Dec.
HC (DDL, JGL, TLJ – That’s Daniel Day-Lewis, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Tommy Lee Jones for all you film plebeians.)
IS (You know, if you find history insanely cool.)
5. The Great Gatsby
Release date: Dec. 25
HD (Baz Luhrmann. This may be up for debate, but I love the style of Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge!.)
HC (Leo. Leo. Leo. And Carey Mulligan, Joel Edgerton, etc. I love the ’74 version w/the perfect Robert Redford, but I can’t imagine a better follow-up Gatsby than Leo.)
IS (If you read the book, you know what’s up.)
MBV (The super-saturated colors and extravagance particular to all Luhrmann’s films will be interesting to see here. And the costumes!)
SSS (I blasted and sang and made videos of the tunes from Moulin Rouge! all throughout high school. Maybe a big band/swing version here?)
Release date: June 8
HD (Ridley Scott – Alien, Gladiator, and one of my all-times, Blade Runner.)
HC (Michael Fassbender, Noomi Rapace of the original, Swedish Dragon Tattoo, Charlize Theron)
AESP (Ok, I know RS is claiming this isn’t an Alien prequel, but “it’s set in the same universe”? Well close enough.)
7. The Hobbit
Release date: Dec. 14
HD (Peter Jackson, whose attention to detail in these LOTR movies astounds me.)
IS (It’s a hobbit. And dawrves. And treasure. And dragons.)
MBV (I really, really hope. The scenery of New Zealand alone in the LOTR trilogy was probably enough to boost that country’s tourism by 1000%.)
8. Django Unchained
Release date: Dec. 25
HC (Leo again! But also JGL – is this the 17th time he’s shown up in my list?? – Christoph Waltz, and Sacha Baron Cohen, whom I never cared about before but now find intriguing after Hugo.)
IS (Like, top notch insane. Google it. Not like I expect anything less from Tarantino.)
ACW (I flip-flop with ole Q on this one – Pulp Fiction yes, Death Proof no – so here’s hoping.)
9. The Master
Release date: ?
HD (Paul Thomas Anderson)
HC (Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, and the rise of the [Joaquin] Phoenix!)
IS (I’m not even entirely sure of what the storyline is, but if Scientology-esque rumors are true, then yuh.)
ACW (solely on There Will Be Blood)
What movie releases are you weak with anticipation for?